


Shaken

by inquisitor_tohru



Series: Far Above the Moon [30]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Finn Needs A Hug (Star Wars), Hurt Comfort Exchange 2020, Hurt Finn (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Poe Dameron's Jacket, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Treat, Undercover Missions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:48:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24309997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inquisitor_tohru/pseuds/inquisitor_tohru
Summary: As they leave Crait behind, Finn reflects upon going undercover as a First Order officer on theSupremacy.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: Far Above the Moon [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/536698
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29
Collections: Hurt Comfort Exchange 2020





	Shaken

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nununununu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nununununu/gifts).



When they left Crait, it was stained red by the First Order's presence, its pure white crushed beneath heavy-duty tanks and Kylo Ren's worn leather boots. Finn wondered which had caused the most damage in the long run. It was hard to say. The planet was just another casualty in the war, but at least these wounds would have a chance to heal. 

He breathed in the familiar earthy scent of Poe's jacket, enjoying the comfortable weight of it on his shoulders. When he and Rose slipped into those First Order uniforms after boarding the  _ Supremacy _ , her stuffy, starched garments had been at odds with her entire being. The angle of the cap was all wrong, and when he tried to smooth her hair down, the curls sprang back with the spirit of rebellion. But the freshly pressed tunic and jodhpurs fit him like they were made for him. No, like he was made for them. The result of a decade and a half of the First Order's careful tailoring.

Poe settled down next to him as they entered the blue radiance of hyperspace, and gently squeezed his hand. Neither of them needed to say anything. Finn knew that Poe had been on plenty of undercover missions, some of which had no doubt taken their toll on him. Days, or even weeks assuming a false identity could tumble even the most well-adjusted folks into the midst of an existential crisis. Well aware of what the Resistance agents - what  _ Poe  _ \- went through, and what was simply accepted as part of the job description, Finn was ashamed to have been so shaken by what amounted to a couple of hours in fancy dress.

"Finn." Poe turned towards him, speaking softly, and leaned in enough that their foreheads bumped together. "What you did back there, on the  _ Supremacy _ ...it was really something. I don't think I could have done that." 

"What, you don't think they'd have an officer's uniform in your size?" He laughed, but his heart wasn't in it. "Besides, Rose was the amazing one." He thought of how she'd even made him want to laugh in the face of death when she'd sunk her teeth into Hux's unassuming hand. Then he thought of her lying unconscious in the medbay, and felt yet another awful pang of guilt. That should have been  _ him. _

"I'm not denying that." Poe brought his free hand to Finn's face, cupping his cheek with a rough palm. "But you know what I'm talking about. I can't say I can imagine what you're going through, but I do know that it must have been hard for you. Even being back on a star destroyer on its own would be hard..." Hot tears pricked at the corners of Finn's eyes. Poe was right - even though he'd fallen victim to the First Order, had even escaped the  _ Finalizer  _ together with Finn, he could never truly understand what he was feeling right now. But that was okay. He was still  _ there _ for him. 

"...so hard." Poe's arms folded around him, enveloping him in a warm embrace, and Finn let it all out. Allowed the emotions, those messy,  _ messy  _ emotions, to wash over him as each tear was kissed away by Poe's chapped lips.

**Author's Note:**

> I saw "Character is Traumatized by Going Undercover as Former Identity" and while First Order officer and stormtrooper are not an exact match, _I could not leave this alone._ Hope you enjoyed this treat :)


End file.
